Intruder calls 911, afraid homeowner may have gun
CNN) -- This time it was the intruder who called 911. A man who broke into a house in Portland, Oregon, called police -- afraid the homeowner may have a gun.
The suspect, Timothy James Chapek, was in the bathroom taking a shower when the homeowner returned to the house Monday night, Portland police said in a statement.
Really, it's the perfect ending to a burglary. Nothing was stolen, no one got hurt, and a stupid criminal got to go to jail. A common misconception about the Dead Goblin Count is that I want criminals killed - this is not entirely true. Criminals that pose no obvious threat - like our clean freak Mr. Chapek above, shouldn't be shot simply for B&E. It's the ones that pose a threat - clear and present danger or not - that I have no qualms about cheering for their demise.
Heh. I'm trying to think about just how much fun I could have had with this one. Mossberg, bayonet attached, with the Smith & Wesson model 27 in a nice leather holster strapped to my leg. Maybe the Kukri on the belt as well. Then again, the Mosin-Nagant 91/30 (bayonet attached, of course) with the CZ-52 would be a decent pair as well. Or go modern and have the Bushmaster and the G30. Decisions, decisions!
Colander and leather banana hammock optional, natch...
That is all.
10 comments:
I can see the news now – Criminal in MA calls 911 while home owner tries to figure out which gun to use. . . . Can you here the 911 call? “Hello- I broke into this house and am trapped in the bathroom. PLEASE SEND A COP TO ARREST ME NOW!!! The guy came home and trapped me in the bathroom! I can hear him out there whistling and arguing with himself about which gun to come get me with. . . . WAAAAAAA! COME GET MEE!!!!!!
I think I would pay to see that one
I think going in and pouring cooking oil on the floor outside the shower, then recording the guy when he stepped out would be fun, too.
Butt naked, shotgun in hand and asking "may I join you?" ought to scare him good.
Going in, pouring a bottle of tabasco in the shower would be good too.
Make sure to wrap him in duck tape first...trust me! : )
You must have a huge bathroom if you have enough space in it to wield a 91/30 with bayonet fixed.
A friend of mine said in a captured intruder situation he'd duct tape the crook to a chair and call a family meeting to discuss the guy's fate. (Scripted for maximum laughs of course.) He'd push for calling the cops, his wife would suggest a stern lecture and letting him go, and Granny would repeatedly insist on "planting him out back with the others."
I hope they cuffed and stuffed him as is, still naked and wet from the shower.
I can see it now:
BAM! Door swings open. Jay strides in wearing a long knife and his patented grin. The bayonet tip of his shotgun is pointed directly at Mr. Burglar's junk, and Jay asks him to "Say Hello to my little friend!".
He should've thought about the consequences before breaking-in into somebody else's home. And what's best for him is not to do such thing, as we all know it's a crime.
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Funny, "The View" covered this story today (don't ask me how I know this!), and they totally left out the part about the gun. Bias much?
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