Thursday, September 8, 2011

Oh No You Didn't...

Ambulance Driver thinks he can sink lower than your humble host...

Jay, if you top me in donations, I will have a tee shirt made that says, "Everything I know about guns, I learned from reading MArooned." I'll wear it at Blogorado, and post a picture of me wearing it as my profile pic for the rest of 2011.

If I top you, you have a similar tee shirt made that says, "The best I can shoot is Minute-Of-Berm," and you post it as your profile pic for the rest of 2011.

He's also claiming that he'll appear in drag if he wins the fundraising challenge. I think I speak for all of the visually-enabled world when I saw that we cannot allow this to happen - even if Ambulance Driver would be a shoo-in for "Best Impression of Queen of the Elves"... And AD seems a little too eager to appear in drag, if you know what I'm sayin'...

Naturally, I have to one-up AD. It is a moral imperative. The question is, how? Appearing in drag? *Yawn* I live in Massachusetts - that won't even raise an eyebrow here. How do I provide even more incentive to top AD? What carrot can I offer to invite y'all to open your wallets to put me over the top here? I've already offered to wear a skirt should I make the top three. What can I offer to get me to the #1 slot?


  • Jay in a chain mail bikini?

  • Jay in assless chaps?

  • Jay as every member of the Village People?
Give me your ideas, and we'll go with the most popular...

That is all.

19 comments:

North said...

This will escalate an we will all lose from the result. There are no winners in a JayGular war. The fallout will make us all itch, or something.

North said...

Pronounced Jay Gee You Lar, naturally.

Anonymous said...

Jay holding a sign on the steps of Beacon Hill saying, " I voted for John Kerry and Ted Kennedy". Please be wearing appropreate Boddy Armmor.

Stickman

Donation forth comeing....hmmm, but to who??

Jay G said...

stickman, I'd be in a LOT more trouble if I held up a sign that said "I voted for Scott Brown" on beacon Hill...

Nancy R. said...

Dress as a hippie and hold up the "I voted for Scott Brown" sign on Beacon (I almost typed "bacon" Hill.

Newbius said...

What Nancy R said.

Guffaw in AZ said...

Okay, I get dibs on the eye/brain bleach concession!

Christina RN LMT said...

JayG as mirror universe Spock. With ears and all. :D

North said...

C-LMT: That is a million dollar idea.

(I wish I had a million.)

Bob S. said...

Jay G. in a Pink Bunny outfit -- including ears and feet -- at a Cub Pack Meeting.


Singing the "Little Bunny Foo Foo Song"

Talk about something you won't live down for years.

Jay G said...

Little bunny foo foo, hoppin' through the forest.

Pickin' up the field mice, boppin' 'em on the head.

BTDT. Only without the costume...

And Christina, your idea is...

[wait for it]

fascinating...

George said...

This is an easy one. Jay in a Yankees uniform outside Fenway...

Roadkill said...

No matter what outfit, I think Jay should have to wear a Kennedy-hair wig.

Mike W. said...

Jay applying turtle wax to his shiny, bald head.......

Jay G said...

George's idea is the most dangerous...

If y'all want to see me get injured, donate towards that goal...

Stan said...

Is there such a thing as assed chaps really? I thought that was a feature, not a bug.

I vote for Zardoz style banana hammock if you lose.

Ross said...

About the only suggestion which will NOT have people the world over gagging would be Christina's...

Sorry, Jay, but I'd pay to AVOID seeing you in a chain mail bikini or chaps...

MSgt said...

NIPPLE RINGS

Daniel in Brookline said...

I like George's idea. It has that "Die Hard 3" feel to it.

In the same vein would be a closer approximation of the movie: stand outside Fenway during a home game, wearing a sandwich board reading "RED SOX SUX".

But frankly, do we really want to see Our Host put himself in mortal danger? Much better, I'd think, would be something e.g. a T-shirt reading "NANCY PELOSI'S BODYGUARD", or "JIM BRADY IS MY HERO", or "GUNS ARE SCARY - VOTE DEMOCRAT!"

And if that isn't bad enough, imagine a T-shirt reading "I SUPPORT GUN CONTROL BECAUSE I'M A DICKLESS WUSS". (Something no one would ever wear, except on a bet...)