Okay. I've made it [checking calendar] a little over two weeks into the summer before it came to this, but...
With the summer months come relaxed traffic - as a general rule - so the rants become fewer and farther between. With schools out and folks on vacation, there's less cars on the road as a matter of course; with skyrocketing gas prices there's even fewer than normal.
What this means to the MA drivers, of course, is that the idiot:normal driver ratio increases, because idiots don't know when to get the fuck off the road...
*Like the person dropping their kid off in front of me at the school's summer program who insisted on traveling at 20 mph on a state highway with a posted speed limit of 45 mph. Here's a friendly tip: Find the skinny pedal on the right. Push it down further. Or trade the Impala in on a moped.
*Once more, with feeling: If you cannot drive without the cell phone glued to your ear, stay the hell home. Your inattentiveness to the world around you is going to get someone killed (ideally you, but things rarely work that way).
*To the bicyclists: Yes, I know you're saving gas. Yes, I know you're saving the planet. Blah-dee-fucking-blah. Do not ride two abreast on narrow twisty roads. Those towing mirrors hurt like hell when they bounce off your dayglo helmets.
*To the motorcyclists: We all know it's summer. We all know you love your motorcycles. Hitting the rev limiter at 2:00AM going down my sleepy little street isn't going to win you any friends, but it will make lots of enemies. It's adrenaline junkies like you that make life hard for the rest of the motorcycling public. Please knock the shit off.
*Ditto the "Loud Pipes Save Lives" dudes. Uh, guys, no they don't. All loud pipes do is piss off the non-motorcycling public. Look, I love the deep throaty growl of a V-twin under acceleration, but there's no need for your potato-potato-potato to be heard three counties over. Cars today are pretty much soundproof, not to mention that it's hard to hear a bike with a cell-phone stuck to your ear anyways. It's not helping anything, and all it's going to do is make the next round of legislation come down harder on all of us.
*And another once more, with feeling: To the landscaping companies - HOOK UP YOUR FUCKING TRAILER LIGHTS. I'm not Kreskin the Magnificent who is able to divine when you're stopping, turning, or slowing. Hook up the lights. Make sure they work. Or buy a box truck. Seriously. Your name and phone number are on the side of the truck. It is VERY easy to dime you out. If needed, that is...
That is all.