After soda ban proposal, NYC officials set sights on popcorn and milk shakes
On the heels of Mayor Michael Bloomberg's call for a ban on jumbo-sized sodas and other sugary drinks, city officials are now considering restrictions on treats ranging from popcorn to milkshakes.At a meeting Tuesday, members of the New York City Board of Health expressed support for Bloomberg's proposal. They then started brainstorming other ways to cut the fat, according to MyFoxNY.com.
You see, now that the .gov owns you, they feel perfectly justified in telling you what you can and can't shovel into your piehole. Under the guise of
Banning 16.1 ounce sodas in an effort to halt obesity is like trying to put out a forest fire using a squirt gun. It's nothing more than out-and-out toadying symbolism intended to curry favor with the nanny state uber alles types that have already managed to foist low-flow toilets and mercury-filled light bulbs on the American public. Only in this case, it's not some nebulous environment at risk; it's our children - since we as parents are obviously incapable of stopping our kids from cramming 1500 calorie sodas down their gullets, the only possible solution is to start banning things like Stalinist Russia.
Oh, sure, it starts out symbolic. Ha ha, it's only drinks larger than 16 ounces; no one needs those 128 ounce SuperMegaMondoGulps, right? You're more than welcome to have two or three or 18 refills; we just want to make sure that your cup is the right size. What the hell is this, the Assault Tumbler Ban? Next thing you know, only a fresh broccoli Smoothie is on the Approved Beverage Roster, and you're crossing over into Pennsylvania to buy a pre-ban chocolate Fribble...
Just wait until they realize how many calories are in a Vodka Martini...
That is all
Another dispatch from...
(image courtesy of Robb Allen)
6 comments:
I will occupy, I will help you die, I will run to you, now I rule you too. OBEY YOUR MASTER!
Of course, there will be a law enforcement exemption: it is far safer for the officer to make fewer trips to the drive-through & more efficient use of time translates to more time on patrol instead of behind the drink dispenser...so the big cups will have the "Restricted Use: Law Enforcement/Military/Export Only" stamp on them, of course with the date (a la the '94 AWB) so the average street cop will be able to tell if the citizen's cup is pre- or post-ban.
Or, one of those illegal hi-cap mugs smuggled in from Virginia after being purchased through the beverage-show loophole, as is wont to happen.
Coming soon to 60 Minutes: agents of the NY City Food Department doing undercover film work showing OMG!! OMG!!! LOOK HOW EASY IT IS TO BUY A BIG GULP IN ARIZONA!!
It. Will. Never. End.
Come join us in the FREE United States :-)
The fact that 46% of New Yorkers don't just roll over and accept- but actually support this mandate is dishearting. There could be the usual polling scams, i.e. "Are you the kind of evil fat sick bastard that woukd give your child an assault beverage?" It is telling that people get the government they vote for by electing a weasel like Bloomberg too many times.
But the poor people can't afford vodka martinis, and the rich people who can afford them can also afford health care.
Movie quote time!
I've seen the future. You know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin, sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing, "I'm an Oscar Meyer wiener."
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