Articlelings? Storylets?

Got a bunch of snippets that weren't quite enough for their own posts, but I didn't want to ignore them completely, so here goes...

First off, Stretch keeps us up-to-date on the latest in the Je$$e Jack$on Jr. saga:

NBC News Report: Jesse Jackson Jr Is Found

“The congressman is receiving intensive medical treatment at a residential treatment facility for a mood disorder,” says a statement attributed to Jackson’s doctor.  “He is responding positively to treatment…”

The congressman’s office quickly added, “The rumors about him being treated for alcohol or substance abuse are not true.”

See, that's what happens when you abruptly vanish from the scene with no explanation. The rumor factory goes wild. Especially when no one believes that a US Representative could ever suffer from exhaustion... He's out in Arizona being treated for a "mood disorder". I'm sure it's pure coincidence that there's an alcohol treatment facility there...

---

This just in from the BLNN:

LA Sheriff Wants Politicians to Return Badges

Sheriff Lee Baca is recalling about 200 official-looking badges that were given to politicians for use during disasters.The move in Los Angeles County came two weeks after federal authorities arrested three officials of the small suburb of Cudahy on bribery charges.

 Prosecutors handling the case released a photo of a woman in a nightclub holding two handguns and wearing a badge given to a councilman.

Nice. Real nice. For some bizarre reason, the police decided to hand out badges to politicians. Why? I don't know; maybe they ran out of chainsaws to give to toddlers... And then they show up as party favors to strippers. They should have given those badges to someone slightly more responsible, like a circus carnie...

---

Direct from the NRA's mailing list, Wayne LaPierre gave a speech in front of the United Nations:

Wayne LaPierre Fights for the Second Amendment Before the United Nations

On behalf of those 100 million American gun owners, I am here to announce NRA’s strong opposition to anti-freedom policies that disregard American citizens’ right to self-defense.

No foreign influence has jurisdiction over the freedoms our Founding Fathers guaranteed to us. 

We will not stand idly by while international organizations, whether state-based or stateless, attempt to undermine the fundamental liberties that our men and women in uniform have fought so bravely to preserve – and on which our entire American system of government is based.

 Amen, Wayne, amen. Kudos for keeping an eye on this. I mean, the UN has freakin' IRAN on this "council" - because, you know, Iran has America's best interests at heart...

---

Lastly, on the lighter side, Stretch sends in a story that shows it's not just Massachusetts that's filled with weenies...

Town Overrun by Turkeys Bans Feeding the Birds

Officials at a town that has been overrun by wild turkeys took matters into their own hands on Tuesday, making it illegal for residents to feed the birds. Anyone caught feeding the turkeys in Hainesport Township could be fined up to $2,000.

The township committee approved the ordinance during a meeting Tuesday night.

Because, you know, when the only tool you have is a hammer law-makin' device, every problem starts to look like a nail something that needs to be banned. Because some stupid city folk think that turkeys are nothing more than overgrown rats with wings pigeons, they have to pass a law. Gah. Does this town need a law against poking bears with sticks? Jamming forks into electrical outlets? Swimming less than 30 minutes after eating?

It just goes to show - stupid is universal.

That is all.