You Can't Write Satire Like This...

Man. I couldn't make this up if I tried. Brad_in_MA sends in another story about the rousing success that is Lawrence, MA mayor Willie Lantigua. If Lantigua was a Republican, I guarantee you his name would be a household word and his face would be plastered on every major newspaper as "what's wrong with the GOP". But he's a Democrat, so you'll never hear stories like these:

Armed Robbery Suspects are Lantigua Employees in Lawrence DPW

The Valley Patriot has learned that three armed robbery suspects arrested last Friday for invading a convenience store on Boxford and South Union Streets with Halloween masks and guns are all Lawrence City Workers hired by Mayor William Lantigua in the Department of Public Works.

Okay, so in a city the size of Lawrence, there's a few bad eggs. Not the mayor's fault, right? Right?

According to city documents obtained by the Valley Patriot, Saldana, Mora and Alecea all answer to Jorge Jamie the new parks foreman hired by Lantigua last year to oversee the city parks. Jamie was Lantigua’s personal secretary and had no experience in parks or DPW prior to his hiring.

Okay, so the three aspiring rap musicians reported to a hack with no experience whatsoever. Still not the fault of the mayor, right? Well, here's the kicker:

Adding insult to injury, Lawrence City Councilors say that the grant used to hire all three men to work temporarily at the Lawrence DPW was an $800,000 ”Anti-Violence” grant called “Safe and Successful Youth Initiative grant.”

Got that? Three gang members were hired using "anti-violence" money. They were supervised by a Parks foreman who had zero experience in running a public works project. Who happened to be a political crony of a mayor vying for the title of most corrupt mayor in America.

Or, as we like to say in Massachusetts, in line for Speaker of the House...

That is all.