Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Stupid Gunnie Tricks...

I forget how it came up, whether it was in chat with somebody or in Gunblogger Conspiracy, but somehow the topic of pet peeves came up... Naturally, this got me to thinking (always a dicey proposition). Gunnie Pet Peeves! What are the stupid/silly/inane things that fellow gunnies do that make you shake your head in amazement? Here are some of mine:

  • The super-tacticool dude who has all the latest gadgets, attends all the courses, extolls the latest training techniques, etc. - and is morbidly obese and sweats while brushing his teeth. Look, your odds of dropping dead from a massive coronary are several orders of magnitude greater than your odds of getting into a gunfight. The best thing you can do to improve your odds of surviving is to put down the tactical Twinkie...

  • Guys who live and die by long range shooting. Now, don't get me wrong. If you want to outfit a serious rifle with top-shelf glass so that you can put a ½ MOA group up at 600 yards, power to you. That takes incredible discipline and dedication to reach that level of shooting, and I applaud your hard work getting there. Just don't give me shit about zeroing my 4X scope at 50 yards. Look, I don't hunt. The odds of me using my rifle at anything greater than 50 yards is awfully remote. I just don't see much practical reason to spend a ton of money on braggin' rights.

  • The insistence on short barreled rifles for inside-the-home defense. Now, don't get me wrong. "Because I want one", "Because it's cool", or "Because I can" are all perfectly valid reasons for wanting to drop the money on the stamp for an SBR. Claiming it's the be-all, end-all for home defense, though, is a little on the silly side - if it's a pistol caliber, you're losing all the advantages over a handgun, and if it's a rifle, you're sacrificing accuracy for the sake of a really bright muzzle flash. Don't rationalize that $200 stamp as necessary for your home defense needs.

  • The whole "train like you fight" mentality taken to the extreme. Shooting without hearing protection "because you won't have time for ears when the bad guys kick in your door"; the whole "standing on the live range so you know what it's like to have bullets going by you"; basically, anything that throws common sense, the four rules, or proper shooting etiquette out the window in favor of "realism". Look, the odds of getting in a firefight are astonishingly low. The odds of serious hearing damage is pretty much 100%...

  • Insisting on only owning guns chambered in "military" calibers so that you "have a supply of ammo when TSHTF". Look, sparky, it's always a good idea to have a firearm or two that takes common ammunition. That's just plain sense - the major ammo manufacturers will have the most of whatever they sell the most of, and ammo that gets used by the Armed Forces will always be in demand. But honestly thinking that there's going to be some sort of SHTF scenario where you and your AR will be out roaming the street taking mags off of fallen soldiers is just a little too "out there" for my liking...

  • Shooters that base a gunnie's worth on their ability to shoot tight groups. Not all of us have the time and/or money to send hundreds of rounds downrange two or three times a week. If you do, and your level of proficiency makes Jerry Miculek go "DAMN!", that's awesome. I'm envious of your dedication to the sport. But please, don't look down your nose at me because my shots go low and right, or high and left, or somewhere other than the X-ring. Would I love to put all 10 shots in a tight circle you could cover with a half-dollar? Hell yes. Do I think you're any less of a gunnie because you can't shoot at my level? Hell no.

  • UPDATE: Just thought of another one: Anyone that honestly buys into the whole "9mm vs. .45ACP"/"Glock vs. 1911"/"AK vs. AR"/"Revolver vs. semi-auto"/"S&W vs. Colt vs. Ruger" nonsense. Sure, it's fun to argue in favor of/against your favorite/non-favorite gun/caliber/action, but in the end, it's all good. The only bad gun is one that doesn't work for you. Otherwise, it's all gravy.

So there are some of my gunnie pet peeves. What are yours?

That is all.


JD said...

Never would have guessed that last one after the spring NE Blogger shoot and "minutes of berm" was born. . .

= )

Eric R. Shelton said...

Tactical Twinkie. God, you nailed it right on the head! LOL. Jay, this is probably one of my favorite posts of all time- may it be immortalized in email fwd hell.

Borepatch said...

"Tactical twinkie". Heh.

West, By God said...

Hah. Good ones.

Mine is the wannabe-gangsta-thugs that come to the range with their chrome Lorcin. They never heard of the 4 rules, but the range officers generally keep them from killing other people at the range. They still shoot their 9mm "gangsta style", causing them to hit the walls and other people's targets. They also get really upset about their gat jamming every other round.

Anonymous said...

Put all 10 shots in a 6" paper plate; and some bad guy will have heart burn.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

To the common caliber for SHTF situations... you forget how close the zombocalypse is!!! But there is also the, 'my grandkids will still be able to buy ammo for this gun because they make a kajillion for the militaries of the world so surplus will be there in 50 years if the zombies don't come'

And shot groups the size of half dollars? I'd be happy if I started getting shot groups the size of bad guys.

Nate said...

Pet Peeves

1. Rust on guns. No excuse except for general laziness.
2. Not cleaning up your brass or targets. (more for open ranges)
3. Saying you've shot every gun I talk about. Narcissism much?

Phelps said...

It seems to me that if it is TEOTWAWKI, and you're picking up magazines off dead UN guys or whatever.… won't you be able to pick up a weapon chambered for it at the same time?

Do these guys think that there are going to be guys running around with bandoliers of 5.56 NATO and "shoot me for ammo" shirts?

clamp said...

I'm still laughing at the "shoot me for ammo" shirt. LOL!

Wolfwood said...

Obviously, small crates of ammunition will be lying around, often accompanied by medi-packs. IMHO, your best option is to register an SBR with grenade launcher and have a .357 as your Last Used Weapon. Strafing will be very important as well.

Rob K said...

On the "common calibers", I sort of wish I had a .270, a .243 or a 7mm Magnum now instead of a .308 rifle. I've seen plenty of each of those 3 where ever I've looked for ammo lately, but not a round of .308.

Mikee said...

Watch out for new shooters at the range. In about half of brand new shooters, who come to the range with their dad or their spouse or their significant other, they will carefully line up that first handgun shot, squeeze the trigger carefully, and hit near the bull'e eye because they don't know to flinch like an old timer.

Then they will turn around to look for approval of this fine feat of gun shooting from their companion, sweeping half the firing line with their handgun, with their finger still on the trigger.

Hyman Roth said...

1911 Fetishists. Too many safeties, single-action means complicated rituals, needs a tool for takedown. No thanks. It belongs on the target range only. Give me a modern carry platform for the cartridge.

And a related breed: Jeff Cooper Worshippers. The man never heard a shot fired in anger. Being Gen. Vandergrift's staff training officer on Guadalcanal does not make Jeff Cooper into a warrior like Chesty Puller. Cooper's sly hints and insinuations to the contrary reveal his insecurity. a nice man, perhaps, but not the all-knowing guru that so many believe.

ExurbanKevin said...

Gunnies who insist that their family must follow in their footsteps.

I went to the local range last week and I was appalled to see a 10 year old girl crying her eyes out because her Dad was insisting she try to shoot a full-sized bolt action rifle. She didn't want to do it, no way, no how, and her father was getting visibly angry at her reluctance to shoot such a powerful gun.

Look, I like shooting, but I *LOVE* my sons. I want to share my hobbies with my boys, but having them shoot 1 MOA groups with a .30-06 pales in comparison to them loving and respecting me for years to come.

Your hobby and your passions are just that: YOURS. They may or may not be your children's or your spouse's also. I want my boys to know and appreciate guns for what they are, but if they grow up to enjoy other activities than what Dear Ol' Dad is into, then that's just peachy with me.

Unless it's color draping or scrapbooking, that is. :)

Kevin Creighton said...

Obviously, small crates of ammunition will be lying around, often accompanied by medi-packs. IMHO, your best option is to register an SBR with grenade launcher and have a .357 as your Last Used Weapon. Strafing will be very important as well.

Just don't practice rocket-jumps anywhere near me, mmkay? :)

Stretch said...

Zit-faced clerks giving advice based on having played EVERY scenario in HALO-6.
Brand new CCW holders complaining "No one makes a decent IWB holster for the Desert Eagle."

Rick in NY said...

Pet peeves -

1. Know it alls, who got all their knowledge off the web or playing videogames.

2. Range Slobs who don't pick up after themselves.

3. The Rambo Wanna-Be's who were never in any branch of the armed services, show up to the range in cammies, make a huge show of firing their AR-15 as fast as possible, and still miss.

4. The jerk husband or boyfriend that has his sweet thing shoot a lightwieght shotgun or heavy pistol, knowing it's going to knock her over. Then he laughs about it.

5. Anyone who states that because they can't hit squat with a certain pistol/rifle/shotgun/muzzleloader at such and such a range that said firearm is junk and why did I waste my money on one? (Actually, those can be a fun source of income if properly manuvered into lettimg me call them on that.)

6. Anyone who refers to me as the "Safety Nazi." Sorry, but the position I hold at my rifle club (Range Safety Officer) means that I can and will speak to you about your poor understanding of the 4 rules. If you don't like that, you may leave the range. Refuse to leave and I will call the cops to come escort you.

I'm sure there's more, these are the ones I've ran into in the last two months.

Bob S. said...

I'll chime in with a different perspective.

Experienced and knowledgeable gunnies who talk down to or condescendingly to newbies.

I know of no faster way to loose someone than to hear a newbie being talked down to...I've experienced personally being the noob.

Wally said...

Peeves, eh?

Folks who shoot rifles with big giant scopes zeroed at some fixed distance because they haven't a clue as to how to shoot distance with iron sights.

Old crumudgeons at the range who give you grief for your gear (69gr ammo, 1:9AR) and tell you it is impossible to hit the target at 600 yards and is unsafe to attempt it. Silly me, I've done it plenty of times. Hold my can of STFU and watch this. oops was that one a little too personal?

Range officers actively scoring a competition who incessantly ask questions about your gear.

Dipsh!t parents who bring their kids to the ranges and let them wander free. Extra points for having kids climb over the berm into a live bay.

The guy at the gun store who knows what you really want and is general SOB about letting you purchase what you want. Even if you ask for the Mark 2 on display, he wont stop until he shoves that SW41 down your throat.

And those folks who dump the brass buckets in the dumpster. You know, there are those of us who have an entire religion based on salvaging shiny scraps from the freebie bin.

Anyone who thinks a 1911 is the best gun ever, regardless of the application.

Folks who gripe at the RSO or think they know better. I dropped my last club because of the sloppy handling on the trap range. Great pics on Mas's blog a week or so ago :)

Atom Smasher said...

1) Dinosaur caliber handguns. I don't hunt or silhouette, so I don't "need" one, and frankly any handgun that when it fires in the next lane *makes my pant cuffs rustle fromt he overpressure* strikes me as a little silly. But that's just personal preference.

2) Dudes at the range who don't look like they're having fun. C'mon guys, loosen up a little.

3) Dickweeds whose revolver explodes in the lane next to me, sending a piece of shrapnel careening into MY lane which caromes off the far sidewall and nicks my shooting hand, who *DON'T* ask me if I'm Effing Okay when I peek my WTFing head around the corner, and just pack up and leave.

Okay, that only happened once but it still tweaks me. ;)

Kim du Toit said...

"Experienced and knowledgeable gunnies who talk down to or condescendingly to newbies."

Amen to that. Add insufferably-arrogant know-it-all gun store clerks as penumbral figures.

As for the long-range shooters: what really pisses me off is not the people who can hit MOA at 600 yards (i.e. a 6" group), but the people who can do that with a sandbagged, bench-rested rifle, who then assume that they can repeat the feat out in the field, with an unsteady rest, in rain/wind, at a moving target. Most hunters (that would be about 95%) couldn't hit the side of a Suburban under those conditions. Now add the Red Dawners who think they can replicate the feat with blue-helmeted targets.

Uh huh. But that still won't stop them from taking the shot, and missing or wounding (at best).

I will plead guilty, however, to being a 1911/single-action fan, simply because if I want to shoot DA I'll use a revolver, thank you. That doesn't mean I think that DA adherents are idiots, mind you: I just have a personal preference for SA shooting. I both carry and shoot DA revolvers and SA 1911s, and for self-defense purposes I'm quite comfortable with either.

Incidentally, I'm amused by mall ninjas, but not peeved by them; but I'm peeved and not amused by paranoid Red Dawners and similar pointy-heads.

Anonymous said...

My biggest peeve has to be the caliber wars. "Such and such is too weak," or "I only shoot it if it begins with a .4" I guarantee, if you ask those guys about a .44 Special they'll say, "Oh, that's a weak cartridge." Failing to realize that the .44 Special has ballistics similar to the .45 ACP, and can be hand loaded to be WAY more versatile.

Hunter said...

Then there is the shooter with the latest, greatest, and most spiffy lead projectile expelling device ever.
He's sold off more valuable guns to buy one than most shooters will ever own. ...and yet, he'll be selling that one in a couple of weeks to buy the latest, greatest, etc.
Beware the man with just one gun, he probably knows how to use it.

turtle said...

Belonging to a rod & gun club that has a bar, where the drinkers try to dictate the rules to the shooters. (The drinkers and the shooters being two distinct groups that share little in common other than the facility itself)

Michael in CT said...


The shooter who says "I've been shooting for 30 or 40 or 50 years" when you call them on their gun handling/safety procedures. Well, however long you have been shooting, you are still an unsafe dumbass.

The shooter who thinks a 50 AE Desert Eagle or a S&W 500 is a responsible carry gun and that he is real tough for carrying one. Umm, dude....some inoffensive, average, non-tough looking guy is going put 2 9 mm rounds dead center in your chest before you get that artillery piece halfway out of the holster.

The shooter that thinks having comps and lasers and C-Mores and 20 round magazines makes him super shooter. Hold on a second dude while I break out a boring looking Makarov, an old Colt fixed sight DA revolver or if he is really obnoxious, my single action Ruger and I'll kick your ass for you.

The ones who talk crap about good they are, but can't back it up at piddly little local shoot.

Sadly I take great joy in teaching a little humility to some of the above types, usually with some or obscure "noncompetitive" gun. A Ruger Blackhawk in 30 Carbine or an East German Makarov are both good for that

firehard said...

i advocate a cutlass and dirk cinced in a silk sash for effect..

this to let ones adversary know that I am a dandy and gentleman and not to be trifled with!

Paladin said...

"Tactical Twinkie"... (snort!)

Everybody took all the good peeves already, so the only one I can think of relates to Youtube videos of people shooting their guns at a range.

Watch a few of them, and count how many times the subject (usually a young guy) raises his pistol and trys to shoot it without taking the safety off.

There's that moment of hesitation as he stands there aiming down range with nothing happening.... then the confused look as he lowers his hand and looks at the gun... then the dawn of realization as he flicks off the safety and gets back to business.

That's going to be a really disapointing tactic if he ever has a "real" reason to use that gun.

Ambulance Driver said...

I don't look down on you because you shoot "minute of berm." I envy you because you have a bigger arsenal than me.

Jim said...

My peeve is not getting enough visits to various and sundry ranges at which to shoot with good friends.

Worse, having good friends online such as our intrepid host, friends not yet met, but with whom I look forward to burning ammo, stogies and sippin' afterwards, one fine day.

Thinking I'm "good", only to watch Kim's son shoot my definition of "good" into last Sunday, surely would be a peeve, if it wasn't so damn fun to watch!

Oh yeah, and having Doc Russia compliment my 1/2 playing card sized group, then halving it. With rapid fire. With his weak hand. Bass. Terd.

Speaking of that Grunt, y'all go visit the Good Doctor's site.

You see, congratulations are in order, he's got his D-6's internal magazine chambered with twins!.

Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Steve A said...

Watching the range guy(FNGuy) sell 158gr .38 special +p ammo to a 100lb woman for her 2 1/2" barrel S&W.
Who then shots said gun ONCE on the range before shaking her head & hands and starts packing up to leave the range. Went out front & told the manager, who caught her before she left the store & convinced her to go back to the range with him & some different ammo(i think it was some 110gr hydra-shoks). She seemed to realy enjoy the help & hopefully will be back.

Adam said...

Turtle, I once belonged to the club you're talking about!

Older gunnies that talk down to younger ones. I'm 25 years old. I've been shooting since 16, and bird hunting for 6 years. After 6 months of saving, I went to the local gun shop looking for a Beretta Extrema 2, only to have the old gunnie behind the counter look at me and say "Thats an awful expensive gun for someone your age, don't drop this." As he hands me one and laughs at me.

Needless to say I thanked him for his time, took my $1500 to Dick's Sporting Goods, and had the extremely helpful guys there order me one.

Anonymous said...

I collect .25 ACPs because I find them interesting engineering exercises.

I am sick to death of hearing about what a useless round it is from the next guy in line at the gun show.

I know it's a wussy little round; my favorite joke about it is the old, "If you shoot someone with a .25, and they find out, they'll be mad". That's not the point at all.

I hate the people who are all experts about the chambering of my 6.8 who only know about the SAAMI specs that Remington developed and have not a clue that the community developing the round has made progress in the intervening five years.

I hate the people who are especially fast to tell me what's working for me is wrong and I shouldn't do it that way, even if the way the are showing me doesn't work for me, and can't work because of a congenital shoulder problem.

My [insert gun] is better than yours because [famous person] at [expensive training center] uses it.